


im so sorry we fell in love

by Sagamohr



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23806351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sagamohr/pseuds/Sagamohr
Summary: Eddie Diaz has had a bad streak a mile long when it comes to dating, love and romance. Evan Buckley seems to be the one who's going to change it.Or, is he?
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 117





	im so sorry we fell in love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AngelsAvengeMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsAvengeMe/gifts).



> My first foray into Buddie.
> 
> A one-shot, for the Eddie to my Buck. I love you <3

Taking a furlough was probably the most selfish thing Eddie Diaz could have done for himself… but it wasn’t without reason.

Christopher had been growing restless, growing more independent since he took him skateboarding a few weeks back, and of course that - coupled with his age, and with who he hung out with at school - meant he had a touch of an attitude. Normally this would have been a headache, but the single father was absolutely thrilled at the progression - and a little bit scared. Eddie just thought it was the unnaturally nice weather after the rainstorms that refused to move for three days and hadn’t put much thought past it, trying his best to accommodate whatever Chris wanted on his days off whenever he could. When he did finally take some time to think about it, after tucking Chris into bed and sitting on the couch with a beer, he realized two things.

One, he had worked more this past month than he had in a very long time. 

Two, he was already spending his ‘time off’ at the station, going over training routines with Buck and Bobby, while he left Chris in the care of Carla, who he trusted with every fibre of his being. Why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t like he really had anything else to do, and sometimes Carla brought Chris over.

But that wasn’t how he wanted his son to remember him: a workaholic who put more effort into rolling hoses than his own son. So, he decided he was taking a week off. He and Christopher would give Carla a much-needed break. He’d finish the work week, give Bobby his paperwork, and whisk Christopher away to the hills or Santa Monica or-

Maybe _not_ the Pier.

It was Thursday, the day before his furlough would begin, and Eddie couldn’t keep it together. Bobby had barked from the common area more times at him today than he had in his entire tenure, which wasn’t something to be proud of. He couldn’t start slacking like this just because he had some time off coming up. “Sorry, Captain.” Eddie called back meekly, unrolling the fifty foot hose once again. ‘Get it together, Diaz.’

Buck came over, clapping him on the shoulder. “You need some help here, probie?”

“I’m not a probie,” Eddie mused, half smirking as he looked up at Buck.

Somehow, Evan Buckley had become his best friend. They had had a rocky start, at first. Rocky was probably the kindest word to use in this situation. Buck had been jealous of Eddie’s arrival at the station, and it wasn’t until they were forced to work closely together on a call that the initial jealousy and hostility wore down and faded away. It took everyone by surprise at how quickly the two of them became close, with Captain Nash making a few comments on it once in a while. Eddie was so grateful for Buck; he had been there when he fell apart. He had been there when Chris’s mom passed away. The whole station had, but Buck really stepped up. 

He’d never be able to repay him for the help. 

That was probably why he kissed him a few months ago, when he invited Buck over for the usual night of video games and pizza.

He had put Chris in bed and had started cleaning up when his truckmate proclaimed that if he didn’t feel like watching Chris on his next day off, he’d do it. Eddie had walked right over and planted on right on the corner of his mouth before he knew any better, completely not thinking. Buck had been shocked, at first, almost thrown. Eddie had worried that it meant that he’d have to find a new fire house to work in, because _holy Christ_ , that was probably the dumbest thing he had done in his life. They had stared at each other for a second or two, before Buck had leaned in and kissed him back. 

Kissing him had definitely not the dumbest thing.

They decided to keep it as professional as possible while on shift, having told Bobby a week after they first kissed that they were ‘just casually’ seeing each other. Bobby had taken it in stride, beamed at them that he was proud of them, and then they got caught up in two practically back to back calls. Buck and Eddie continued to see each other like normal, with Christopher snuggled up between them when they watched a movie of his choosing. Now the nights ended sometimes in a kiss or three instead of a wave from the doorway.

An alarm rang out in the firehouse just as Eddie hooked the properly rolled firehose onto the truck. “That’s downtown,” Eddie shouted over the clamour as the address rolled out. Bobby was already hustling everyone along, Buck had his turnout gear on, and Eddie was close behind. They were on the truck and out on the road in under 90 seconds, sirens screaming as they barrelled down the roads. Something felt off, though. Eddie could feel it in his bones. 

Fixing his headset, Eddie sat across from Buck. Since getting together, going on calls had flared up his protectiveness. Normally, it wasn’t too bad, and he could smear it across his entire team without raising any eyebrows. Bobby and Hen had both mentioned how ‘safe’ they felt whenever they worked with Eddie, how they knew he would double and triple check everything before running into something reckless. It made him feel better about his place on the team, it also meant that he had a stronger responsibility to keep everyone on his team safe.

Buck was reckless, impulsive, but since kissing Eddie, since unofficially starting to date each other, it felt like he had calmed down just a touch. Moreso in his decision making. Instead of just _doing_ whatever he felt he needed to do, he at least gave everyone the warning through the radio before doing it. It usually gave Eddie ten seconds to stammer, but it was more than what anyone had before.

“I wonder why they needed us,” Buck shouted into his headset, the truck rumbling far too loudly to actually speak. “We’re not that close to downtown-”

“Guess it’s pretty serious.” Eddie replied, raising an eyebrow at him. A warning. A reminder. ‘ _Don’t be reckless._ ’

“Everyone needs to be on their best today.” Bobby spoke firmly. “I don’t know how bad this is going to get.”

When they arrived at the address, they learned quickly that it was a mattress warehouse. Eddie felt his chest constrict as one of the other captains call them over to bring them up to speed. They had two teams in there, but there’s a corner of the store that no one can reach, and that’s probably the origin of the fire. Bobby was shouting orders while Hen and Chimney dashed over to the medics on scene, trying to get an idea of what to do and who to help. Eddie noticed with growing anxiety that there were already a couple of black tagged bodies. 

“Christ.” Buck breathed, standing shoulder to shoulder with Eddie. They were close enough that Eddie could feel the younger man’s trembles. 

“Please, Buck… Listen to Bobby today, alright? This thing’s too much.” Eddie said softly, turning to place a hand on other male’s shoulder. He squeezed gently, his gloves taking most of the impact. “Please, for me.”

Adam’s apple bobbing, Buck nodded. “Yeah.”

With Captain Nash in their ear and at their side, Station 119 tackled the mattress warehouse fire to the best of their abilities. It quickly ranked from two alarm to a four alarm fire in under an hour. Eddie tried to keep his eyes on Buck the whole time, but when Captain Nash ordered Buck and Chimney in together, and Eddie was kept out, he felt his heart ram firmly into his throat. With the hose trained at the wall beside the entrance, Eddie Diaz watched Evan Buckley and Howard Han run into a four alarm fire without additional back-up.

Time slowed to an excruciating crawl.

“This was exactly why you shouldn’t date someone on the force,” He could hear his mother tell him in the back of his head, her arms crossed over her chest. “You both are putting your lives at risk- and what for!”

“Eddie, the doorway!” Someone - Captain, maybe - shouts and with a panic, Eddie watches as the doorway to the building collapses. 

Eddie can’t breathe. He can barely stand, his stomach lurches dangerously. 

Buck. 

Buck’s in there. Buck’s in there-

“Buck!” Eddie screamed, dropping the hose. He’s halfway towards the downed door when someone tackles him onto the ground. The fire is still hot, the flames are roaring, dosed with new oxygen from the collapse. “Diaz, get back!” Someone - a new voice, one he doesn’t regcongze or care about, really - shouts in his ear and with a struggle he’s brought back to his feet, brought back to the safety of his truck, where Hen stands with a blue gloved hand pressed tightly to her mouth.

“ _ **Buck!**_ ” Eddie screamed again, his chest tight, throat tighter.

Hen is by his side in an instant, because Chimney’s her _partner_ , and she feels everything the same thing he feels right now, if not more so. She’s holding him back, because he’s still pulling, he’s still desperate to get in there, to find Chim, to find Buck. Eddie, lost in his senses, watches as what remains of Truck 119 is pulled back as a new firehouse pulled in, their captain meeting with Bobby to better discuss ‘recovery’ strategies. Eddie couldn’t believe what he was hearing, his heart pounding wildly.

Recovery.

Buck and Chimney couldn’t be dead.

The idea blew all the wind out of his sails and Eddie collapsed, falling onto his knees as the fire burned. 

How was he supposed to tell Maddy?

_How was he supposed to tell Christopher?_

Hen’s dragging him from it, her hand tight around his bicep, tugging and pulling him around the ambulance. “Don’t, please, Eddie I can’t do this without you.” She begged, tears fresh on her skin. “Don’t lose it, I can’t carry this alone.” 

What was she saying? Did she think Chim and Buck were d-

“Look! Over there-”

“Oh my God,”

“Someone get them!”

Hen and Eddie ran out to where the collection of firefighters and medics stood, while two men with bodies slung over their shoulder dragged themselves out of the burning building. Hen took off running, another medic from another house following, but Eddie could only stare, his heart lodged in his throat. Was that Buck, over the man’s shoulder? Was it Chim?

So many questions, not enough answers.

Once the four bodies were put onto respective stretchers, Eddie watched with detachment as Hen sobbed openly over Chimney. He was alive, breathing, but hurt pretty bad. His turnout gear was dark from soot and close range flames. He couldn’t speak; his mask had been removed for whatever reason, his radio burnt to a crisp. If Chim was this bad and he had a more level head when it came to fighting fires-

On his heel Eddie turned and ran for the other stretcher. Buck laid motionless, eyes closed, skin red and blistered and soot covered.

Two medics he didn’t know worked on him, cutting his burnt turn out gear away, intubating him, pulling flayed pieces of melted cloth away from his skin. It looked unreal, like a bad Halloween joke. Unfortunately they were still far from Halloween, and this was a reality of working as a fireman. Eddie grabbed his hand, dropping his helmet to the ground. “Buck…” Nothing. “C’mon, Buck, you gotta open your eyes.”

“He needs to get to the hospital.” A medic said, gently urging Eddie away from the 

unconscious firefighter.

Eddit wasn’t going anywhere and met her gentle force with his own. “I’m riding,” Eddie said, voice tight as if he had been in there with Buck and Chim, gloved fingers tightening around Buck’s hand. “I’m their teammate.” He looked back down to the still non-responsive male. “I’m his-”

“Go, Diaz.” Bobby said, appearing near the medics, having seen the entire interaction. “We’ll follow once we’re cleared.”

Eddie nodded once and climbed into the ambulance, stripping his gear off while they loaded Buck in after him. He tried to keep everything as neat as he could - he’d been in too many ambulances to know that there was only enough space for bodies - but as they started with Buck, Eddie couldn’t keep track of who had what. As they slammed the door closed and the EMS worker continued to keep the fireman comfortable while dressing his wounds, Eddie held Buck’s limp hand tightly, desperate to see his blue eyes again. 

“C’mon, Buck. Don’t leave me.”

* * *

When Evan Buckley finally came to, he didn’t know where he was.

The last thing he could faintly remember, was being paired up with Chimney, and running into a burning building.

No, scratch that. The last thing he remembered was looking back at Eddie, who was keeping a hose trained on the doorframe. After that, everything was sort of blank. He squeezed his closed eyes together, a machine beeping faintly to his left.

“Ugh,” Buck groaned, throat and mouth too dry to do much more than that. More beeping. A faint pain in the crook of his elbow. There was something over his mouth. Something blowing in his nose. A weight to his left and Buck blearly opened his eyes. At first, the overwhelming sense was that it was far too bright. Pain blossomed across his chest and shoulders, and he groaned again, sinking against the too soft pillows.

“Relax, relax.” Someone was saying quietly, just loud enough to be heard over the softly beeping machines. “Buck, you have to relax.”

He knew that voice.

“Ed…-”

“Yeah, Buck. It’s me. I’m here.” There was a soft laugh, and the weight was gone, and Evan did as he had been told, taking a breath, relaxing the tenseness in his shoulders. The thing over his mouth was gone, too. The room was still just a touch too bright. “The nurses will be in here soon.” Eddie sounded relieved, happy.

He nodded, closing his eyes again. Good. They’d get him out of here in a minute.

“...You scared me out there today.” Eddie said quietly, and a cool touch over his burning knuckles made Buck open his eyes once again. The room was no longer as bright, and Eddie sat clear as day to his right.

“You and Chim… you both went into that building.” There was a choked sound in the back of Eddie's throat, his adam’s apple bobbing with emotion. 

“You were both _okay_ , Buck… but then the roof collapsed. We… we couldn’t get you out.” Eddie explained, and Buck could faintly hear the strain in his voice. He could hear the question, too. ‘ _How? How’d you get out, Buck?’_ He hated it when he talked like that, with finality. He was okay, and Eddie had no reason to sit here and catastrophize. He gave his hand a soft, reassuring squeeze. 

“We didn’t… we didn’t know what to do.” Pause, machine beeps fill the silence. “ _I_ didn’t know what to do.”

Buck grunted, trying to say something that would not just ease Eddie’s fears as he closed his eyes again, the room becoming far too much alongside the pain painted clearly on his partner’s face. He hated seeing Eddie look like that. He hated it when the other man looked anything other than carefree and happy.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” Eddie finished, giving Buck’s hand a squeeze. 

Squinting, Buck tried to smile. “Me too.”

The two firefighters shared a brief, tender moment with one another. The room was no longer a suffocating haze of worry, anxiety and fear. It was just … content. Oozing contentment things are going to be okay.

By the time the rest of the firehouse come into the room, both Eddie and Buck are asleep. Buck’s leaned over to the right of his bed, his fingers hooked into Eddie’s. His breathing was normal and he no longer needed oxygen, but his neck, shoulders and biceps would need constant care while healing. Athena and Bobby smiled, arms linked in one another’s, while Hen wheeled Chimney into the room after them.

“We should wake Eddie up,” Athena murmured, leaning her head against Bobby’s shoulder.

“When’s Buck supposed to be released?” Chimney asked. He came in a lot better than Buck had, leaving only with a bad burn across his shoulders and some smoke inhalation. 

“Doc said not for another twenty-four hours, at least.” Hen replied, before squeaking Chim’s wheelchair to roll him out of the room. He was to be released today, and the sooner they could get him home to recuperate, the better.

Eddie jolted awake with the squeak, twitching his hand out of Buck’s. “H-hey. Sorry,” He stumbled, rising out of his chair. He looked over to see Hen and Chimney leaving, and he felt his chest relax at the sight of the other fireman up and coherent.

“Relax, Diaz.” Athena chided kindly, moving away from Bobby to smooth his uniform shirt down. “How are you holding up?”

Eddie shrugged, ran a hand through his hair, trying to give the police sergeant a smile. “I’m okay.” He looked over at Buck, and smiled a little more. “Grateful.”

“Good.” Athena smiled, and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. “I’ll get Bobby out of your hair in a minute. I just want to check on Buck.”

Eddie nodded, grateful for Athena’s care and affection. Bobby clapped a hand on his shoulder. “You can start your furlough tonight, Eddie. I’ve already squared off a couple of floaters to cover the rest of your shifts.” He looked over at his wife and Buck, who stroked his sweat-licked hair back from his face. “You two are good for each other.”

“Thanks, captain.” Eddie replied quietly. “I appreciate it.”

“Not a problem. We’ll see you both in two weeks.” Bobby replied, before he walked over to pull Athena away from the sleeping fireman. Eddie watched as they left, an arm around each other. He didn’t sink into his chair until they had rounded the corner, and leaned back with a yawn. He checked his watch, winced, and fumbled his phone out of his pocket.

A couple of text messages from Carla a few hours ago, and two missed calls. 

Hitting the most recent number, Eddie pressed the phone to his ear and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was past Christopher’s bedtime, so he wouldn’t get to talk to him. “Carla, hey.”

“Yeah, we’re fine. Nothing’s… wrong. Buck got hurt.”

“No, no. He’ll be released tomorrow if the doctor can clear him.”

“Can you let Chris know that we’ll be home tomorrow? Probably tomorrow afternoon?”

“Thanks. I owe you, Carla.”

Hanging up, Eddie tucked his phone back into his pocket and once again leaned back in his chair. He closed his eyes, listening to the machines and lights hum.

“Eddie?”

He opened his eyes, looking over at Buck who laid on the hospital bed. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.” The words were barely whispered.

“For what, Buck?”

“Bein’ here. With me. You could go home, be with Chris...”

Eddie smiled, leaning over to wrap his fingers around Buck’s. “I love you. I’m not goin’ anywhere until you’re cleared.”

Buck smiled, a strange mix of a cough and a laugh leaving him. “I love you, too.”

Leaning over, Eddie pressed a soft kiss to Buck’s mouth, smiling at the younger male. 

Yeah. Taking a furlough was probably the least selfish thing Eddie Diaz could have done for himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, remember that Discord server I made? You should check it out: https://discord.gg/KmNY9vV


End file.
